What Are Sex Dreams?
If you’ve ever woken up confused — and maybe even slightly aroused — about why your dreams were full of steamy sex scenes with you as the main character, you’re not alone. Sex dreams are a normal part of life. Dream content often relates to what’s happening in your waking life. Dreams are a way to reveal what is invisible to you. They serve as an inner guidance system, give you commentary about how you’re living your life, and reveal symbolic images for you to explore with curiosity. All dreams, even sex dreams, can be easily connected to things going on in your life. Having sex [in a dream] can mean many things. It can be an energy exchange whereby you want a quality that that person has. And it depends on how you feel about sex; some people see it as pure pleasure or wanting to feel desired. For others, it can mean security and stability. Or it can mean love. There are so many reasons for people having sex, and it’s the same in dreams. That will all play out. The mind will throw metaphors up, and those metaphors are usually in their crudest form which, often, involves sex.
A sexual act in the dream or even just an embrace between male and female can point to integration of one’s masculine and feminine. Remember that each figure or symbol in the dream represents an aspect of the dreamer’s own self and should not be read literally.
-THE DREAM CLASS by PATRICIA ELTINGE
What Do Sex Dreams Mean?
Decoding the meaning behind sex dreams is not a one-size-fits-all process. While you may have the urge to interpret your sex dream literally, one should try to capture the essence of a dream, it’s best to focus on the symbolic representation. When sex shows up in your dreams, break it down into a story that has a beginning, a middle, and an end, and focus on experiencing the feelings in your dream and being curious about where the energy of the dream leads you, specifically of how the dream ends. This will reveal to you the emotional need that your sex dream is trying to have you fulfill in waking life. Even sex dreams that might be considered “taboo” are nothing to worry about. You just have to dig a little deeper to see what your subconscious is saying about your waking life. We all attach a different meaning to each scenario.
Approximately 8% of all nighttime dreams involve some sort of sexual activity, according to a University of Montreal study, and women tend to doze off to sexual fantasies just as much as men. Sex in a dream isn’t as much about a physical union you want, as it is about a psychological union you need. That means that these dreams—though sexual—could be indicative of what’s going on in your career, personal life, or family, and indicate deeper, more personal desire. Oftentimes, this has little to do with sex itself. Just know that whatever the case may be, having sex dreams is common, natural, and nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. It may help alleviate some mystery behind weird sex dreams by getting a better understanding of what they might mean. When it comes to interpreting the meaning of your sex dreams, of course, there is no one right prescription to diagnose what you’re dreaming about. However, some common themes appear in sex dreams.
Why Do We Have Sex Dreams?
Sex is the physical merging of two bodies, and a dream is a mental projection of that desire — to integrate a certain part of you into your daily life. But as for what can cause these sex dreams is another story. Here are five things that can lead to sex dreams, according to experts:
- Changes in waking life: A sexual dream may be a metaphor for new energy we feel rising in some area of our life, such as an urge to change jobs, embark on a voyage, or simply take up a new hobby.
- Lack of sex: Although sex dreams aren’t necessarily about sex, lack of sex in one’s waking life could lead to sexual dreams. The reason for this is to “satisfy physical impulses.
- Creativity: A person may have a sexual dream due to their blossoming creativity, or their desire to expand into a new area in their life. Sex dreams might be inspired by new creativity or even the urge to branch and be more creative.
- Attraction: If you’re attracted to someone in your waking life, they’re bound to sneak into your dreams at some point. Just as people have erotic fantasies about a particular person, so we may have sexual dreams in response to a person to whom we feel attracted.
- Admiration: When we unwrap the dream and explore our associations with it, we may find that the person in our dream has certain qualities we would love to have, such as confidence or a sense of adventure. Sexual dreams can point us towards ourselves and what we need at this point in our lives.
Different Types of Sex Dreams
Sex Dreams can be of different types, here is a list of some common sex dreams:
- Sex dreams about your boss: Often we have sex dreams about those who are off-limits, such as our boss or a coworker. The dream is likely about office power dynamics. Office-related sex dreams are quite normal. Do take the time to assess how you feel at work. Do you feel stifled? Perhaps you want more freedom, trust, and control? Get organized and suggest a meeting to discuss ways to achieve this.
- Sex dreams about someone you hate: When we have sex dreams about someone we dislike, it’s likely much more about power dynamics rather than actual sex. Dreams can communicate a lot — it’s just not always a direct connection.
- Sex dreams about a celebrity: Sex dreams about celebrities are very common, according to experts. They likely mean that we are attracted to that celebrity. These can range from crushes to sexual prowess and agency and feeling like we can get someone who is out of reach. Those are really common, too, and they’re usually an ego boost.
- Sex dreams about an ex: Sex dreams that involve exes are one of the most complicated to wake up from. Exes are people we usually have a very complicated history with, and as a result, complicated feelings. It’s these unresolved emotions that give us ex-sex dreams.
- Sex dreams about a Platonic friend: Apparently, sex dreams run on the forbidden. You may be attracted to this friend, or perhaps the sex dream is simply happening because this is someone you can’t have sex with. It doesn’t imply anything wrong or a conscious desire to be unfaithful; it’s just part of being human.
- Sex dreams about your partner: Dreams about your partner usually take place early in the relationship or in situations in which you are separated. Sex dreams are more common when the relationship is not as readily available.
- Sex dreams in new places: Sometimes sex dreams take place in locations we don’t normally go to get them on. As we’ve established, sex dreams thrive on the forbidden. There’s usually an element of freedom, of wanting, of longing for whatever the situation is.
- Someone of the same-sex: Same-sex sex dreams are still very common. If it seems weird and random to have that dream, remember it’s not really about [having that curiosity], but more about what the person you’re having sex with represents.
There can be various other types of sex dreams.
What does a Wet Dream Feel Like?
Wet dreams happen to most guys during the teen years. You wake up to find your bedsheets wet and sticky. Wet dreams, or nocturnal emissions, are a normal part of your development. A wet dream occurs when you have a sexually arousing dream during sleep, and your body releases semen through ejaculation. Your genitals are hypersensitive during shut-eye time because there’s more blood flow to the area. So if you’re having a dream that’s turning you on, there’s a chance you’ll orgasm and not know it until you wake up. During the REM (rapid eye movement) phase of sleep, it’s natural for guys to experience an erection. If you happen to have an arousing dream during this period of sleep, you will sometimes ejaculate. You may have trouble remembering the dream or feel confused just after you have a wet dream. Some guys wake up because they feel like they are going to wet the bed. This is completely normal and nothing to be embarrassed about!
What Are Some Myths About Wet Dreams?
There are many myths about wet dreams, which can make them confusing or cause anxiety if a person does not know what to expect, so here we bust some of them:
- Wet dreams do not reduce sperm count: Some people believe that wet dreams will reduce a man’s sperm count. However, wet dreams are a way for the testicles to remove older sperm and help with the natural formation of new, healthy sperm in the body.
- Women can have wet dreams: Many people associate wet dreams with men or, more specifically, adolescent boys, but women can also have wet dreams.
- Wet dreams do not reduce a person’s immunity: Some people believe that wet dreams can cause a person to have lower immunity to things such as a cold or infection. This is a myth and has no basis.
- Wet dreams only happen during puberty: While wet dreams are most common during puberty due to hormonal changes, they can also happen during adulthood.
- Wet dreams are not a sign of illness: It is a myth that wet dreams are a result of an underlying illness or medical condition. The opposite is true.
- Masturbation probably cannot prevent wet dreams: While masturbation may reduce the number of wet dreams a person experiences, it does not guarantee a person will never experience them.
- Wet dreams will not shrink a penis: Some people believe that wet dreams reduce the size of the person’s penis. However, there is no scientific evidence for this.
- Some people never have wet dreams: Wet dreams are a natural occurrence for both men and women. They cannot be controlled or stopped, and a person should not feel ashamed to have them.
- Wet dreams are not always erotic dreams: Wet dreams are often associated with sexual or erotic dreams. However, this is not always the case.
At What Age Do Wet Dreams Begin?
Having regular nocturnal emissions (wet dreams) marks the beginning of puberty in boys. Wet dreams typically start between ages 13 and 17, with the average at about 14.5 years. Most wet dreams are reported in teenage boys and young men, and sometimes they occur well into adulthood.
How Can I Stop Wet Dreams?
You really can’t stop wet dreams, since they happen while you’re asleep. Scientists believe wet dreams are caused by a rise in levels of the hormone testosterone that happens in a boy’s body during puberty. Most guys have fewer wet dreams as they get older. Although some people have ideas about how to prevent wet dreams from happening, there is no proven strategy for this. Keep in mind that wet dreams are a normal part of development. If you are feeling uncomfortable about having a wet dream, talk with an adult you trust – a parent, a school counselor, your primary care provider. Talking about it is the best way to allow you to feel more comfortable about this natural part of your development.
Hopefully, this article gave you some insight into sex dreams.